各位觀眾，今天我們不「讚揚」了，我們來聊聊一個關於 Cloudflare 的悲傷故事。故事的主角，是我，一個只想登入自己帳號的普通用戶。
一切始於一個看似簡單的問題：我的帳號明明關閉了兩步驟驗證 (2FA)，但登入時，它依然像個盡忠職守卻毫無靈魂的機器人，固執地跟我要 2FA 驗證碼。
我忍了。我天真地想，大概是系統延遲吧，我去後台把它徹底關掉就好。然後，我迎來了第一個高潮。Cloudflare 的系統親切地提示我：「要關閉 2FA 嗎？請先輸入您的 2FA 驗證碼。」
這是一個完美的邏輯閉環，一個讓你哭笑不得的死循環。我需要一個我沒有的東西，去關掉一個我因此無法使用的功能。這不是安全，這是對用戶理智的無情嘲諷。
你以為這就是谷底了嗎？不，真正的絕望，是當你發現所有求生之路都被堵死的時候。
在走投無路之下，我聯繫了 Cloudflare 的客服。就在今天（2025年12月24日），我收到了他們「大聰明」工程師的回應。解決方案是：要我在 DNS 中增加兩種不同的紀錄，來證明「我就是我」。
這是我聽過最好笑的笑話。我的 DNS 正是託管在 Cloudflare 上的！我就是因為登入卡在 2FA，才需要協助。現在，你要我登入一個我登不進去的系統，去修改裡面的設定，來解決我登不進去的問題？
這不是鬼打牆，這是什麼？
故事的最後，我嘗試了社群提供的「偏方」。有人說，從
community.cloudflare.com 登入，有機會繞過這個 Bug。我像抓住最後一根救命稻草一樣去嘗試了。結果呢？熟悉的 2FA 介面再次彈出，像是在對我說：「歡迎回到地獄。」
是的，這是一個繞不開的死結。一個由 Cloudflare 親手打造，堅不可摧的數位牢籠。
我累了。我真的累了。
現在，我唯一能做的，就是去註冊一個全新的 Cloudflare 帳號，像個陌生人一樣，卑微地提交一份客服工單，去拯救那個被鎖在自家門外的「我」。
一個全球知名的網路安全公司，用它那引以為傲的技術，成功地把我，一個忠實用戶，變成了一個在系統迷宮裡打轉、求助無門的笑話。
這不是智商檢測，這是對人性的考驗。而我，顯然是輸了。
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s not “applaud” today. Instead, let’s talk about a sad story involving Cloudflare. The protagonist of this story is me, a regular user who just wants to log into his own account.
It all started with a seemingly simple problem: Two-Factor Authentication (2FA) was clearly disabled on my account. Yet, upon login, the system, like a loyal but soulless robot, stubbornly demanded a 2FA code.
I tolerated it. I naively thought it must be a system lag, and I could just go to the settings to kill it for good. And then, I hit the first climax. Cloudflare’s system kindly prompted me: “To disable 2FA, please enter your 2FA code first.”
It’s a perfect logical paradox, a dead-end loop that makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time. I need something I don’t have, to turn off a feature that is preventing me from using it. This isn’t security; it’s a ruthless mockery of a user’s sanity.
Did you think that was rock bottom? No. True despair is when you realize every escape route has been sealed off.
With nowhere else to turn, I contacted Cloudflare support. Today, December 24, 2025, I received a response from their “genius” engineers. The solution? I needed to add two different DNS records to prove that “I am me.”
This is the most hilarious joke I’ve ever heard. My DNS is hosted on Cloudflare. The entire reason I need help is that I’m stuck at the 2FA login. Now, you want me to log into the system I can’t get into, to modify a setting inside, in order to solve the problem of me not being able to get in?
What is this, if not a waking nightmare?
Finally, I tried the “secret trick” from the community forums. Someone suggested that logging in via
community.cloudflare.com might bypass the bug. I clung to this suggestion like a final lifeline. The result? The familiar 2FA interface popped up again, as if to say, “Welcome back to hell.”
Yes, this is a deadlock you cannot break. A digital prison, built by Cloudflare’s own hands, and it is impenetrable.
I’m tired. I’m just so, so tired.
Now, the only thing left for me to do is to register a brand-new Cloudflare account, and like a complete stranger, humbly submit a support ticket to rescue the “me” that’s locked out of his own house.
A globally renowned cybersecurity company, with its much-vaunted technology, has successfully turned me, a loyal user, into a joke—a helpless figure running in circles inside a system maze, with no help in sight.
This isn’t an IQ test. It’s a test of the human spirit. And I have clearly lost.
